Complaints

• Initial Complaint

  07/20/2023

  Complaint Type:

  Customer Service Issues

  Status:

  Answered

  More info

  Respectfully requesting 1. A full refund to both parties of the Hammer family.2. No more emails or phone calls, from this business please. Our family is going through a private and challenging time, and her business communications are triggering/adding additional stress.*Proper, careful intake procedures were not followed.*The three main concerns were not at all addressed or resolved.*Rather than deescalate and neutralize, the mediator escalated topics in the "family business administration/process improvement" category into an entirely different category of contentious legal argument neither party was prepared for or seeking to address. *Customer was prepared with talking points and documents requiring attention, but mediator steamrolled over, rushed, made assumptions, jumped to conclusions/proposals.* Mediator demonstrated explicit bias to one party over the other in proposed agreement, which is unprofessional and would have created harm had document been signed. *No "fair & reasonable" agreement was reached. *Mediator made the situation worse.Consequently, Hammer Family is requesting a full refund to both parties. In return, we will not post a bad review online or "badmouth" the business.

  Business response

  07/20/2023

  I provided professional mediation services to the parties and drafted their collaboratively created agreement.  ***************** would not sign the completed agreement.  **************** is is not only satisfied with the mediation, he has requested a second mediation.  As of today, **************** emailed to say he has no knowledge of ********************* complaints, why she would complain or why she would not sign their agreement.  ***************** has also emailed to request a second mediation with **************** as well as a separate other mediation with her former spouse.  I spoke with ***************** individually prior to the mediation about the issues she wished to discuss, as well as privately during the mediation, and she did not express any of the feelings she has included in her complaint.  I feel this complaint is completely unfounded.  I could provide much more information about the details of how the mediation took place, what ***************** was seeking from ****************, ******************** responses, the parties differing perspectives and more, but I do not feel that is necessary.  The bottom line is the ***************** collaboratively created agreements with her spouse in mediation and she has now changed her mind and will not sign the agreement, and apparently would like to blame the mediator.  

  Customer response

  07/28/2023

   Greetings, BBB:
  
  The Hammer Family is respectfully requesting a full refund from Bellingham Mediation, BBB case # ********.
  
  Our experience is that this particular mediator conflated, misconstrued, instigated, and escalated the challenges faced by our family, and created harm, not help. The practices of reframing and neutralizing (calming) did not occur. Because one party is a federally certified mediator, the family has deep insight into professional procedures and best- practices. WA residents in mediation are protected by confidentiality clauses under RCW Chapter 7 Uniform Mediation Act. Further:
  
  *Intake was insufficient.
  *Mutual agreements were not captured at the time of the session, and the family was turned away from the office in a rushed way with no signed agreements.
  *No resolution was reached. 
  
  This assessment was further reinforced when she misrepresented with heightened emotion and incorrect adjectives (escalated) two telephone communications, as well as the process of disputing a transaction for insufficient services and also appealing to the BBB for civil business assistance. We've requested this person not contact us via email because she agitates a delicate family balancing two medical emergencies, a funeral, and is fueling a domestic crisis with her lack of professionalism. Despite this appeal she continued written communication to misconstrue matters/create a false narrative, which is highly manipulative. And, not professional. 
  
  This person, ***********************, will break best-practice of maintaining confidentiality in a civil mediation issue to refute our request for a full refund by sharing confidential documents with BBB. This act also demonstrates a lack of professionalism broken for a few hundred dollars. 
  
  In the drafted document, you will see **************** of Bellingham Mediation was way off base and wrote a post-nuptial agreement with legalise leaping into possible future circumstances that would be litigated in court (such as relocation costs and a divorce) rather than address the issues and concerns written in a legal separation document court document filed on 1/25/23. The wild spinning and leaping was not helpful. The three general topics that required mediation were: 1. Safety 2. Behavioral Health Plan/Household Agreements, 3. Finances and specifics in the legal separation paperwork, including the financial burden of ********** expenses falling to the in-law (wife). The safety concerns and behavioral health concerns stem from one party's previously undisclosed military career and tactical training in the U.S. ************ None of this was sufficiently addressed by ****************. The issues declared in the legal separation are still not remedied. 
  
  Additionally, the document she drafted is not "fair and reasonable," which is an important doctrine in the mediation profession, and shows explicit bias towards one party over the other, with one party assuming more than 71k of marital debt, which is inconsistent with current case law/practice in WA.
  
  Her approach is akin to a passenger booking and boarding a flight to *******, only to land in *****.  
  Or, going on a date to a 5 star restaurant, only to be served a ********** Happy Meal..
  
  We are politely requesting a full refund from Bellingham Mediation. 
  In exchange, we will not post bad reviews on *************** *****'s ***** etc or "bad mouth" this mediation practice in the community. We will not complain to the ************************ or other professional bodies. We are not seeking financial damages from time lost, having used Paid Time Off for this wasted day. Just a full refund to both parties, and no further contact from this person/company. This is a reasonable and respectful request. 
  
  Thank you, BBB, for your intercession in this business matter. 
  
  Sincerely,
  
  The Hammer Family
  
  Attachment/Enclosure
  1. Cover Page Legal Separation showing date 1/25/23 (content highly sensitive)
  2. Receipt for Legal Separation Filing 
  3. Elder Expense List 1 p 1
  4. Elder Expense p 2
  5.  Bellingham Mediation's "Postnuptial Agreement" (Not *********************** Military Service
  

  Business response

  08/07/2023

  I have previously replied to this unfounded complaint and provided documentation showing I was hired to mediate a post-nuptial agreement, the mediation was held in a professional manner included both individual conferences with each party and joint mediation with both in the same room.  The mediation covered all issues that the parties requested.  **************** privately raised additional issues to be addressed.  However, during the mediation she did not raise them.  Thus, the mediator met with **************** privately and asked if she wanted the mediator to raise those issues and **************** agreed to have the mediator raise the communication issues but declined the other behavioral issues as she said her intent was mainly the financial issues.  Both parties verbally approved their agreement and asked the mediator to draft it.  I drafted and emailed them their agreement.  As always, both verbally and twice in writing, I encouraged the parties to have an attorney review any final agreement before they signed it.  In the email correspondence that I previously submitted, **************** asked me if **************** has signed the agreement.  **************** shared that he was happy with the mediation and wanted to return to mediation to fine-tuned some of the provisions.  **************** refused to sign the agreement and accused the mediator of now bringing up the behavioral issues, despite asking me not to at the mediation.  Nonetheless, **************** emailed to ask me to mediate a separate case with her ex-spouse.  The ** Uniform Mediation Act provides an exception to mediation confidentially if there is a claim against the mediator regarding malpractice.  My email correspondence to the Hammer's following ******************** BBB complaint and other public complaints was simply to inform them that I had received the complaints and would respond with supporting documents.  I have an excellent reputation in a small community and an excellent track record of professionalism and helping parties collaboratively create agreements.  While I am very disappointed that **************** chose not to sign the agreement she and her spouse created, their signed Agreement to Mediate obligated them to pay for my 4+ hours professional service.  The bottom line is **************** changed her mind.  However, professional service was already provided as evidenced by the previously submitted professionally drafted post-nuptial agreement.  The Hammers did not want a separation agreement at the time of the mediation.

*Some consumers may elect to not publish the details of their complaints, some complaints may not meet BBB's standards for publication, or BBB may display a portion of complaints when a high volume is received for a particular business. ↩